This causes the adult child to take themselves and life too seriously. They often feel like "imposters" in adulthood, constantly waiting for someone to realize they are just a frightened child wearing a suit. 5. Perfectionism as a Shield
Because expressing feelings was unsafe, the child learns to numb them. As an adult, this manifests as a struggle with intimacy or an inability to handle conflict, leading to "childlike" outbursts or total emotional withdrawal when stressed. 4. The Loss of the "Play" Phase What Causes an Adult Child
Adulthood requires a foundation of security. When a child has to be the "adult" in the house—managing a parent’s sobriety or sibling’s safety—they lose the ability to be spontaneous. This causes the adult child to take themselves
To survive, the child becomes an expert at reading a parent’s mood. This develops into an adult who is compulsively people-pleasing and unable to identify their own needs because they were always focused on the needs of the "unpredictable" adult. 2. The Thwarted Separation-Individuation Process Perfectionism as a Shield Because expressing feelings was
Healthy development requires a child to gradually separate from their parents to form a unique identity. In dysfunctional homes, this process is often viewed as a threat or a betrayal.